Her Elegant Savant.

"I sit here entirely desolate on this perfectly potential Friday night and yet I feel like I am in some kind of a comatose; too apathetic for movement, depleted from any energy. My words are redundant and extremely superficial as they slur out of my mind and into the keyboard. I feel like a feeble degenerate in everyone else's eyes. Trapped in this world filled with conspiring calamity and cognitive dissonance, I strive to stumble upon an answer. I am a puppet and the world is my puppeteer. Why transcend when the world couldn't care less? I would merely decay back into the rot in which I have always been.

Unbeknownst of anyone's impulsions, I live my life, perpetually contemplating upon my thoughts. Thoughts filled with awry angst yet politely minced with cynicism and hinted with indignation, these thoughts coincide with blatant euphoria. My euphoria which only exists as an artificial entity pathetically plastered upon my computer screen, a solemn pseudo hardly discernable through the telephone. Is what I'm feeling even real? I cannot comprehend the peculiar fallacy in my situation. I cannot physically feel the warmth or the luminance of my euphoria but it somehow still manages to exist in my brain amongst the encryption, my dissatisfaction. Maybe this is why everything else feels so cold.

What kind of assistance are you able to administer upon a pitiful soul that cannot be helped? Alas, what a waste of precious time. My days are brief yet my nights are enduring. My entire exterior subsequently gives off the impression as if I'm already nearing death. Who am I to blame? I have chosen all of this, and all of my feelings are ultimately an outcome of my mistakes.
My mind is battling through sojourn after sojourn; racing for an answer, creating thoughts in which I wish could simply materialize on the screen. Grudgingly as I may, I keep searching. Maybe I'm unable to comprehend such matters. Maybe I'm thinking too hard. Maybe I'm just tired.

Refutable and incoherent, indoctrinated and certainly not feasible...
This cataclysm feels as if it will never end. "

-'Infamous' Deira.