Lunar Barbeque.

Old essay for english class.
yes, i did turn this in and yes,
i did get a B+ on it.
boo-yah.

From the dawn of mankind, many questions has been asked and argued between great men, using logic, science, ethics and philosophy to uncover the answers behind these great mysteries. One of these mysteries that lie beyond the limits of the earth happens to be our planet’s only natural satellite, the Moon. Many great philosophers believed it to be an image of the heavens, a glowing goddess watching over us, or even a great ball of green cheese. But as one philosopher puts it, “what if [the Moon] was made out of barbeque spare ribs, would you eat it then?” (Ferrell) While the moon has been proven to be very important to the Earth and to mankind, the dwindling amount of resources of both food and energy has caused recession in many parts of the world. Sarcastically put, I believe that the Moon should be harvested and entirely consumed if it were made out of barbeque spare ribs.

The Moon has been hypothesized by astronomers that it was created billions of years ago after the Earth was struck by another planet. The contact dispatched a large chunk of the earth and got caught in its orbit, and after billions of years it shaped more sphere-like. Its orbit around the earth is equal to spin, 27 to 29 days, or one month (the word ‘moon-th’ stems from ‘moon’), which is why we can never see the other side of the moon, also known as, the dark side of the moon. The moon’s gravitational proximity to the Earth creates a friction which creates tidal waves and slows the regular Earth day to 24 hours instead of 10 hours. Its composition is scientifically made up of mostly SiO2 and variations of iron (The Moon), but in this case, the moon is entirely made up of delicious barbeque spare ribs.

If the moon harvested for its reserves of BBQ ribs, ocean tides would be extremely weak, causing a disruption of the habitats of sealife, birds, and the livelihood of fishermen. While the extinction of a handful of species will be affected, many animals that are slaughtered into meat will be spared, as the great amount of BBQ ribs will suffice and satisfy the many carnivores. The jobs that may have been affected by these rib harvesting, such as slaughterhouses and the seafood industry, will be diverted into new businesses, such as the harvesting, delivering the ribs from the moon back to earth, distribution; it would even promote research and technology in everything space-related.

The surplus of food would be distributed to many third-world countries around the world who are suffering to famine or hunger. Because of the Outer Space Act of 1967 (Outer Space Treaty), which proclaims that no one country can claim land for the Moon, it is shared within the terrestrial community, as would the space ribs.
Without the gravitational friction of the Moon, not only would the Earth day would go by much quicker, but there would be stronger winds and longer storms. While the absence of waves lowers the possibility of a hurricane or tropical or costal storms, these storms would however endanger many human beings and the even the possibility of mankind itself. (Richmond) However, the Chemical composition of BBQ Moon-ribs is far different the regular ribs on Earth, however. The bone within the Moon-rib is far stronger as its dense crust can face even the strongest vacuums of space. Its constant exposure with space, due to the Moon’s weak atmosphere (Martel), and its distance with the sun pressurize and cook these moon ribs to be both strong and tasty with 23 of the spaces finest spices. Because of the massive amount of these bones left over from global consumption, these bones would be used can be used to reinforce buildings, roads, and machines that are vulnerable to decay and giant storms and tornados. Not to mention, the fatty oils deep within the moon-rib is so delicious and powerful, it has the ability to be a possible substitute to modern petroleum oils, as its moon wells has been untouched for billions of years.

So, regardless of how this argument is hypothetical, but most definitely philosophical, I believe that if the moon were made of Barbeque spareribs, we should harvest and devour the moon. It would provide economical growth to the world and increase work production in our current economic recession; it would promote the funding, the commercialization and exploration of space and everything space related; it would help end the hunger of those in famine or in great need of food in third world countries or in great disaster; the strong bone of the rib and its juicy oils would supply us with new materials that can be used to replace resources that are rather dwindling on the earth. And most of all, the BBQ moon rib is delicious!